This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
