She announced her abortion via fbk
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
