Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Randomize
