Screwed.edu
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
