names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I am naked and annoyed.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
