Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
