He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
