Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
