In America we eat man semen.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
