I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize