I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
