physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
