at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
