hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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