so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
