Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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