Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
