I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
