So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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