if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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