Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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