So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
