Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.

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(909): View more from California

so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.

(1-909): View more from California

I worship thee.

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(702): View more from Nevada

Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter

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(205): View more from Alabama

I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.

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(512): View more from Texas

I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"

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(407): View more from Florida

SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE

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(847): View more from Illinois

If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying

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(218): View more from Minnesota

My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.

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