When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize