Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My Higher Power is John Stamos
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
