I smell stomach acid.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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