this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
