Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
