i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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