i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
