Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
