I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I said "one day" and that day is not today
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
