I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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