Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
