omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
