I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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