Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
