You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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