I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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