He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
