he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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