her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
