Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize