Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
