C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
