Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
