My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
What a dumb baby whore.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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