when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
