I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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