he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
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