how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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