you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
i think my cat just said my name.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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