Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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