youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
please come you make the beer taste better
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
