even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
